Resilience and Kindness

Sitting diminutively in a chair onstage in Caswell Hall, 85-year-old Elly Rubin looked out at the sea of 530 Marlborough students who had gathered for an All-School Meeting (ASM) to hear her speak. While she may, at first glance, seem unassuming, she holds a powerful story. Marlborough had the extraordinary privilege of hosting Holocaust survivor Ms. Rubin for this special ASM, organized by Kehilah—Marlborough’s Jewish student affinity group—in collaboration with members of the Holocaust Museum LA’s teen advisory board. 

As she began to speak, the room fell silent, captivated by her remarkable story of survival, resilience, and the enduring power of kindness in the face of unimaginable hatred. 

Born in the Netherlands in 1939, Ms. Rubin was just a baby when Nazis invaded her homeland in May of 1940. As the persecution of Jews intensified, her parents and extended family were betrayed while in hiding and ultimately perished in concentration camps. Against overwhelming odds, Ms. Rubin and her sister Lya survived thanks to the courage of Dutch resistance members and families who risked their own lives to shelter them.

“I was shuttled from one place to another until finally I ended up with a wonderful family,” Ms. Rubin shared. She spent the war years sheltering on a farm in a small village, where this courageous family risked everything to protect her. Their kindness and bravery kept her safe until the war ended, allowing her to reunite with her sister, uncle, aunt, and a couple of cousins. But like so many others during this dark chapter in history, the rest of her family had been murdered in Nazi concentration camps. 

Ms. Rubin revealed that liberation did not immediately bring comfort or security. Post-war life presented its own significant challenges as she and her remaining family members struggled to rebuild their lives. “After the war, there was no food, there was no housing,” she explained. Her first home was a narrow, tall, and cold house with just one furnace in the basement. “The mice and rats had free reign to walk through the house day and night,” she recalled. Her stepmother would stand on a chair in the kitchen to prepare meals because “underneath the chair, the rats were running loose!”

She and her sister had to focus on immediate survival rather than processing their trauma. “We had other things on our mind than to think of the atrocities,” she explained. “We knew we had lost our parents. Lya and I banded together against the world.” After immigrating to the United States in 1957, the challenges continued. Seven people—including Ms. Rubin, her sister, stepmother, stepfather, and cousins—shared a two-bedroom apartment with one bathroom. Everyone, including the children, took jobs to pool their money for rent and food.  

In a poignant moment, Ms. Rubin emphasized the importance of family bonds, noting that she and her sister grew up without parents, grandparents, or much other extended family. “Treasure your parents, treasure your grandparents, treasure your siblings, anybody that you have,” she urged Marlborough students, “because not everybody has been or is as lucky as a lot of you probably are.”

Beyond the deep bond she shares with her own family, Ms. Rubin has maintained a meaningful and lifelong connection with the Dutch family who kept her safe until Holland was liberated. “This family is so great,” she shared with deep feeling. After settling in the United States, she made sure they remained an integral part of her life, inviting them to every family event. “For every occasion that we had—when my kids got married, if there was a bar mitzvah, when a baby was born—we invited them to attend as our honored guests.” 

This profound bond has endured across generations: “To this day, I am in touch with three generations of this family.” Their bond, forged in the darkest of times, is a testament to the power of human kindness and courage. To honor their bravery, Ms. Rubin ensured they received the Righteous Among the Nations designation from Yad Vashem, an award that recognizes “righteous gentiles” who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust.

Inspired by Ms. Rubin’s story, students had the opportunity to ask her questions, seeking her wisdom on combating antisemitism and hatred. Ms. Rubin advocated for education and compassion: “Fight with kindness. Just show them that no matter their hate, you will be kind, fight for your rights, and stand up for what is right.” As she reflected further on how to overcome differences, she shared that she and her sister are different in many ways. Despite this, they remain extremely close to one another and cherish their relationship. She shared the wisdom she has found in this relationship with her sister: “We are very different, but what we have in common is respect. We always respect each other.”

Following her talk, students participated in L’Dough V’Dough, a program facilitated by Holocaust Museum LA. Inspired by the Hebrew phrase l’dor v’dor, which translates to “from generation to generation,” students were invited to braid challah alongside Ms. Rubin, offering a multi-sensory experience and deepening the conversation and connection.

Ms. Rubin’s visit offered the Marlborough community not just a window into history, but a profound lesson in human resilience and the importance of standing up for justice with courage and compassion. As we carry her story forward, we honor her wish that new generations will continue to fight hatred with education, kindness, and an unwavering respect for human dignity.